We all have those moments when we look around and realize that our house is no longer just a house, ,but a home. It has been that kind of weekend for me. Friday nigth was a wonderful night of love, friendship, food, family and celebration.
My wonderful dear friend and one of my best ex’s came over for dinner and a movie. My sister made an amazingly delicious baked spaghetti and we all ate ourselves silly. it was delicious. and as we sat around the dinner table, in my home, we laughed, talked, ate, drank and were truly blessed and happy.
We snacked on cheese, crackers and wine before dinner, then moved to the table. It was as if I was visiting someone else life, not my own…as Iooked around and realized that my home truly was a home. Everywhere i look there is a memory of a conversation, a moment, a tear, a joke, some laughter, smiles, and…hope.
For so long, I have wanted someone with which to share my life. And now that I have so many wonderful things happening in my life, I have prayed, so hard and very sincerely, that I have someone to share all these wonderful things. Finally the struggles are over, and I have made it through those struggles alone. I have wept alone, floods of silent tears streaming down my wet cheeks. I have been frightened, scared of what the future may hold, alone. I have held my own broken heart, in my hands, and wept for the loss of love that it has contained. And I have felt that broken heart start again, and felt it in my chest, one beat at a time.
I have pulled myself up, from the rubbled of the life never to be lived. And I have worked my ass off to be where I am now.
All of this I have done and gone through, alone.
Now, in this time when things are so wonderful, I want someone to share it with. I have paid my dues and walked in the dark alone. Now it is time to hold someones hand in the days of laughter and light.
This year, 2013, is the year of hope and dreams. Of love, light, laughter and the world being my oyster.
And the celebration of love has continued through the weekend with good food, many wonderful conversations with many good friends and good wine.
It is a beautiful life. And for all that I have and am able to share, I am forever grateful.