We have all heard about the benefits of cleaning out the clutter. And indeed, there have been many articles written about it, and articles written as well.Read them here, here and here. This is indeed something that has been put to the test this weekend.
It started in my bedroom. In my closet actually. And I cleaned it out. all the clutter, all the movie stubs, and the little things and reminders. Gone. Along with all the shirt, pants and skirts that no longer fit. And I mean really don;t fit, like no matter how much weight I try to loose i will never again fit onto that. Gone.
And then I moved into the bathroom, and cleaned out everything that was his. Everything that that made me think of him. Gone. Along with all those empty or almost empty shampoo and lotion bottles. All the old things that I had never used and had gone bed. Gone.
Next was the main bedroom and where the most work went into cleaning out. all of the memories and cobwebs cleaned out. Gone. All the told thoughts, feelings and emotions. All the tears and hurts. All the times i hugged my pillow and wished i was not alone in the dark. all the time listening to the clock. tick. one heartbeat at a time. One teardrop at a time. One dream, nightmare, hope and crushed feeling at a time. Gone. Along with all the trash, old papers, noted, thoughts, writings scribbled on notebooks and napkins. Gone.
And the result is a clean life. no clutter, emotional or physical. Bags and bags of clothes to take to Goodwill, and more bags of trash to be taken out to the curb, soon to be picked up, carried away, far away, where i never again shall visit. What is left is bright, airy and full of promises. What is left if Spring.
Yes, I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, my heart, my eyes, my soul.
And so it is, because you must get rid of the old, clean it out, in order to make room in your life for the new. If you want to move on and be free from the past, you must first break free from it’s grip. One of the first steps is getting the past from right there in front of your face, to free yourself from it’s ghosts. Let them go to haunt another. Let me not miss him him anymore.
And I am ready for all the wonderful things coming into my life, what is blooming right before my eyes. And this is the year that I want to find love. real, wonderful, inconvenient, can’t live without each other love. but maybe the key to finding that kind of love, you must first fall deeply in love with…your life. And that is exactly what I plan to do. But firsts I must clean out the clutter and trash. And make room for that which will make my heart truly happy.