Archive | March 2013

Easter Gifts

As so it is, this Easter, that life has a different landscape than before. As we rush around, getting this ready and that ready, as we make sure all is prepared, as the sun is shining and warmth is felt from the inside out. As smiles bubble into giggles and giggles erupt into laughter. As the gifts of Easter show themselves in the mystery of Faith…I am thankful.

Yes, there are many gifts to be celebrated in my life. It has been a long Lenten season with many lessons learned. But as those lessons come to an end, the gifts are there, as promised.  And as I look around my happy home, with family, friends, laughter, smiles, love, good food, good wine and happy hearts, I am very thankful.

May everyone have a wonderful happy Easter filled with Faith, Love, Hope and Smiles.

 

Photo Therapy

Lots of things wonderful things going on in my world. In the meantime, enjoy some recently taken photo!

Life Springs Eternal

Spring comes and life begins anew. We see it on the trees and the leaves, we hear it with the birds. We see the squirrels playing around. The weather is getting warmer, we leave the windows up in the house, roll them down in the car. There is a certain electricity in the air when it comes to this time of year.  Maybe because we have been couped up for the long cold winter. Maybe it’s just human nature to want to be outside when the weather is nice. But one thing is for sure, Spring seems to breath new life into people.

I am one of those people.  I started spring cleaning and cleaned out everything. Closets, drawers (even the junk drawer), shelves, everything. And it was incredibly cathartic. All of the sudden I felt light and better. Then I rearranged my bedroom and go tall the old ghosts out.  The result? I love my room now. It’s my favorite spot in the house. And I even have room for my own home office, which is great considering all the writing I am doing.

And what I have noticed is that along with Spring, my life is new. All of the bad is behind me. The bad drama of the last 18 months, the crazy ex boyfriend, the asshole boyfriend is now gone for good, a new job making great money (more money than I have ever made), I have a great healthy family and a wonderful relationship blooming as well. Finally, everything that I have been through, all the hard work that I have done, all the tears I have cried, all the pieces of my heart that have been broken, bruised or cracked, finally, all of it, is now behind me.

We all go through long cold winters in our life, seasonal and other wise. And we just have to remember that those winters are just temporary.  Soon spring will come, the ice of the hard times will thaw, and everything we want, everything that we have worked for, will be right there hanging k low from the vine of life.

And as I look at my nice clean house, with drawers, closets and shelves, I know that I have dome the same with my life. I have de-cluttered it from all the bad people, situations and things that did not serve me. I got rid of everything that brought negativity in my life. And what is amazing is how much lighter and freer I am now that all of the negativity is out. And it is amazing what getting rid of that asshole boyfriend has done not only for my mood, but my life and outlook in general. Don’t hang on to people if they don’t treat you right. Cut them off, get them out and move on.

Because when you de-clutter your life, you truly make room for everything that is good to come in. You unblock the open door. And just like hope, just like the seasons, life springs eternal.

Here is a confession: Things have not been easy of the last little while. While I have been extremely blessed, there have been many personal struggles. This blog is many tings – a journal, a place for writing, confessions, hopes, dreams, rants, thoughts and articles. Many have asked how I put such personal things in a blog. but the truth is that only a fraction of my life goes into these words and on this page.  You will never know everything, only what I write, only what you see. There are layers upon layers of me that are not for the public. That are only for close friends, time with family, or men that I love and with whom I share time.

And so partly because, mainly because, all because, of all that is not and about which will never be written, this is such a great time. A time of new, and hope and relief. And things have turned out so well from where they were that sometimes I just want to sit and cry. I am so thankful for who and what I have in my life. I am thankful that all the horrible people I have come across have now been expelled from my world. I am thankful.

And I look forward to walking through the grass barefooted, turning the radio up while driving with the windows down, I look forward to conversations and glasses of wine with my true friends, tea with my sister and roommate, visit with my parents and long, slow kisses at sunset. I look forward to this Spring.

And I look forward to Peace. Because what brings you Peace will bring you happiness.

 

 

The Belly Dance of Life

Tonight my sister and I went to belly dance classes. It’s a great, fun and sexy way to exercise and it is a very hard workout. Sweat pours off of you while you are barely moving because it is such extreme muscle isolation. You must drink a lot of water before, during and after the lesson. Now, put two women over the age of 40, who are not very coordinated to begin with…and you have quite an adventure. And as we bent down in our belly dance stance position, looking straight ahead in the mirrors to see what our bodies were doing, I noticed a trend. A trend not only with my body, but with others in the class as well.

I noticed the subtleties of what the instructor was doing with her hips, her arms, her legs, her chest as we danced. And I  noticed what we were all doing. And the two did not look the same at all. While the instructor’s movements were very contained, controlled and subtle, most students, including myself, had jerky overdone movements. Our movements were so very exaggerated from what they should have been, what the instructor’s were. But we are all learning in this class, getting the hang of the positions and movements. We have tired arms and burning legs. We need to rest sometimes, catch our breathe before the next movement.

And isn’t it the same in life? Sometimes, when we are first learning a new skill, our movements are unsure and uncoordinated, jerky. And while learning, we sometimes over do things to make sure we actually have the movement down. And then, in time and practice, we slowly become more sure of ourselves, our movements more fluid and our thoughts take over other areas, as it becomes natural. But in the meantime, we may overcompensate and miss the subtleties of certain situation which we are trying to master.

Indeed that is the case in my life. I try to handle things with Grace, and while my movements have become a bit more fluid, I still do have a bit more coordination to work on. It is easy to have grace when all is going well in life. It is harder when things do not go as planned, or when you are exceptionally angry at someone. And then I overcompensate, and go to the other direction of not having a spine in an attempt to have Grace. Having Grace still means having a spine. And somewhere, there is that balance.

When we over compensate and miss the subtleties in dance class, we miss the small beautiful movements that truly make it an art. We get off balance, our arms and legs flail around (or maybe that’s just me?), we loose our rhythm, we loose count, and we have to stop, take a breath and start back at square one. The we try again, and again, and again.

The same is true in life.

Sometimes, I over do things. Sometimes, out of insecurity, I go overboard. I am afraid that I will not be understood, so I say the same things over and over, to stress what is important. The result is driving people away, instead of drawing them closer. Or because I am so very hurt by someone, I lash out at them, hurting them worse, when all I wanted was for them to just understand.

And somewhere, there is my balance where I don’t fall when trying to do a hip shimmie.

Why do we over compensate in life? Why do we go overboard in our reactions or intentions sometimes? Why is that balance so hard to find, between where we are and were we want to be? Sometimes it seems as if we are wars apart from our goals. Maybe the secret is to just relax and stop trying so hard. Keep at it, as practice makes perfect, and know that with enough repetition and perseverance, we will indeed find our rhythm and Grace.

I guess I should pray for physical grace as well. And maybe, one day, with enough practice, I’ll get them both right.

I Want to Fall in Love With You Slowly

I Want to Fall in Love With You Slowly

I don’t want to fall in love with you quickly.

I want to fall in love with you slowly.

Because your are exquisite, because your kiss takes my breath away, because they way you move mystifies me, because your mind is enticing, because your hands thrill me and your touch burns me.

Because you are complex and dark. And light and bold. And Smart and intriguing. And twisted and funny. And shy and sexy.

Because there are so many moments that take my breath way, that leave me longing, that warm my heart, that make me smile, that make me sigh, that make me happy, that make me miss you.

I want to slowly and purposefully, fall in love with you. Savoring every delicious moment, delicately caressing each second, quietly memorizing every fold in time, until you are mine.

Ada 12/30/2011

A Favorite Artist

I saw her many years ago as one of the opening acts of Litith Fair. I was in radio in those days and new she would be a hit. And she was. With Hits like Hear With Me, Thank You, and White Flag, among others, her music became part of the main staples you would hear on the radio.

But she has been gone for a while, taking time off to start a family. She is back now, with a new album, which for me, as a fan, and as someone who saw her start out, is very exciting.

Her name is Dido, and this is the first Video off her new album. I love the song already. Her voice is clear and haunting. Enjoy!

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