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Life is Messy

Looking at my house, it’s a mess, to put it nicely.  The dishes are stacked up in the kitchen sink and counter. There are glasses everywhere – on the kitchens table, on the counters, the coffee table, the outside tables, in the garden, in my bedroom, my sister’s and nephew’s bedrooms, and I think I saw one even in the laundry room.

My clothes are everywhere in my room and bathroom. The bathrooms need to be cleaned. The entire house needs to be dusted, wiped off and organized. And vacuumed. And mopped.  There are tufts of cat hair. And dust bunnies.

Oh, yes, the house is a mess.

But that’s what happens when you have a life that makes you feel happy, loved, safe and ready to walk on the clouds.

Life has been wonderful. Mom and Dad came up for a great visit. The family talked, drank wine, ate snacks, laughed and had a great time out on the patio by the garden. The next morning there was coffee to drink and breakfast to eat. There was rushing to leave for work and doctor’s appointments. There were hugs and smiles, plans of when they were coming up again.

And then there are the visits to see him, the man who makes me smile. There is waking up next to him, warm, cozy, safe. It is fun to enjoy those wonderful moments. Getting to know him, talking, laughing and learning. Seeing his life, in his world. Sharing and breathing.

Life is messy. In the best moments, when you are busy living, it can get messy, dusty, dirty….and happy. And my messy house is a sign of a happy life.

 

 

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Photo Therapy

Lots of things wonderful things going on in my world. In the meantime, enjoy some recently taken photo!

A Great Day for a Hike

When the weather is warm, for the first time since last summer, we all just want to get outside. We have spring fever from being cooped up so long and having cabin fever. it’s warm, it’s sunner, it’s time to get outside and start moving around agian. Breathing in the fresh air, hearing the birds start to chirp again, seeing the squirrels play around on the trees. Yes, spring is here, finally!

My sister and I, anxious to enjoy the warmer weather, headed up to the northern part of Georgia to a place called Amicalola Falls, Located just a little nmore than an hours drive, we knew it would be the perfect place to dive back into spring, into life. And indeed it was.

Now when traveling with my sister, one must be prepared, for her being prepared. This is no ordinary, or let’s just bring this for just in case, girl. No. I had to convince her to leave her 25lb purse home. But we still brought with us, because she beleives in having for whatever what-if’s come along, a large knife, a compass, a flashlight, two sets on binnoculars, our phones, her cameras, a poncho and several other things…and I felt as if we could take on the world. We were not just two city girls getrting away to the comforts of the country. We were nature people prepared for anything.

And on our way up, as we drove and passed strange sounding roads and lanes, as we followed the voice of the GPS telling us where to turn next, as we laughed and had a great drive, I came to a realization. I finally have intimacy in my life, at the young age of 40. Most people think of intimacy only in a romantic sense, but that is not the case. There are many types. I have lived alone and been on my own now for over 20 years. And living with my sister has been a wonderful expereince, as for the first time since I was a child, do I have someone around who I trust and am comfortable with no matter what.

I mean, who else will stand in the bathrrom with me and make sure my chin is free of those annoying hairs?  And who would I trust to pluck those little hairs out with no judgement? It is companionship. It is trust. It is familiarity and comfort. It is family. All this time I have been seeking it in a romantic relationship, when it was right their in my family relationships. And so, as I go forward, looking for a romantic relationship, I know the kind of comfort and intimacy that I want, because of the trust and comfort I have with my family.

This expereince has made my life more fullfilled and complete, so that when I look for a partner, I am a complete and happy person. And that, among many other things, it what I can bring to the table.

I was first overwhelmed at the idea of mysister an nephew living here, because I thought I can never do all of this alone. But my sister has made it so easy, because she has made sure that I am not alone. She, as my big sister, has made sure that WE have this. It is the first time in my adult life, that I have not shouldered everything myself. Life is truly easier when you share the load.

So we drove up and had great conversation, listened to music, and just had fun. When we arrived, it was time to hit the welcome center store for a few things, then head up the trail for a great hike.  We went up the most popular way. It was only a mile, but it has 604 steps before you reach the top, after hiking uphill for quite a while. not for the faint of heart. And as we huffed and puffed out way to the top, she pointed out things about the rocks, the terain, the plants, the water flow, the minerals arouond the area, and I was taught quite a bit.

My sister is brilliant, and has studied biology, chemistry and geology quite extensively. She taught me how to see the different years in the rocks, as she told me their age, she showed me the different minerals in the rocks, as she pointed out the different colors and hardness of each. I learned how to tell the age of the tress by just looking at them and how to tell where the water used to run, how big the waterfalls used to be, before they were dammed up and controlled. I was amazed, not only at the amount of rich geological history that I never noticed before, but that my sister knew of these things like they were every day things. She reminded me a bit of Temperance Brennan on the TV show bones, rattling off all of her superior knowledge to wide eyed people around.

We went up the 604 steps, stopping along the way to look at the trees, plant life, the way the water was dripping form the rocks and notice the different size and shapeds of the rocks. We did not, however, stop because we were tired or winded. no. Absolutley not.

We even did a bit of rock climbing, as any self respecting 40 something women would do. It is true our bomes creekd a bit more than they did when we were younger, but we still managed to get up the rocks, take our pictures, and awkwardly get back down. We still got up up there, we can still do it, we are women, hear us roar! 

And on our way down, we mused at life. We talked about how sad it was the my latest ex, who I last made this hikle with, never tried to steal a kiss or hold my hand while hiking (one of the many reasons why he is an ex maybe?). We talked of the different types of trees, of our childhood, of the views of the waterfalls and the mountains, and we got a lot of exercise. These two middle aged women are going to be very sore tomorrow morning.  And we will wonder what we were thinking, going up all those stairs, walking all those steps and climbing all those rocks? And then we will smile and say, we were living life. And then we will stumble to the medicine cabinet to get the Advil.

And so it is, this hike on a perfect day, with the perfect weather, with a great big sister, and a wonderful life.